Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Ramble on food

One of lar3ry's rambles

Who are the people that decide
what is good and what is bad?
When it comes to food,
a burger from McDonald's
is supposed to be bad for you.
A spinach salad, on the other hand,
is supposed to be good for you.

Who makes these rules?

Oh, you may think that the rules
are handed down by people
with University degrees and doctorates,
and endorsed by the Food and Drug Administration,
but I suspect otherwise.

Invariably, the "good" foods
are those that taste like...
well... predigested food already expelled.
The "bad" foods, taste,
as you can easily guess,
like heaven came for a visit.

"Burgers contain fat," those wise ones proclaim.
"Lobsters have cholesterol.
Salads are much better for you," they add.
"Of course, the Caesar salad with
grilled chicken, shrimp, and Filet Mignon,
is no longer a 'good' item.
It's got too much 'bad stuff' in it."

To all this, I say, BAH!
I've heard enough about cholesterol.
I understand enough to know
that cholesterol is what they put into food
to make it taste better.

Our ability to eat meat
puts us near the top of the food chain.
Those that intentionally do without—
the vegetarians and the vegans...
(those infamous "V's")—
are forcing their systems to indulge
in a diet that our omnivorous systems
weren't designed for.

Those PETA people,
the ones for the Ethical Treatment of Animals,
contain a lot of those V's.
They are horrified to think of us
killing another living being,
even if it isn't a human being.
However, the last I looked,
plants are living beings as well.
They exist—they "be."
They live.
And somebody comes around
and pulls them from the ground.

Where is the sport in killing plants?
They just lie on the ground,
wherever the wind takes their seed.
They are just—well, they're PLANTED there!

And still I see those PETA types,
tiptoeing through the tulips,
like modern day Elmer Fudds,
with a finger to their lips,
saying, "Be vewy, vewy quiet.
I'm hunting pwants!"
Big sports, you all!

Me, I'll be happy with a prime rib
with a generous supply of au jus
even that French name gives it a je ne sais quois!
Mashed potatoes or baked.
Even a small amount of vegetables, perhaps.
A good meal, one fit for a king.

Yes, I'll eat some vegetables.
I'm only "pro-life" when it comes
to my own self-preservation.
Vegetables have their uses,
even if I don't consider them
the be-all and end-all of everything.

"Everything in moderation," some people say.
I enjoy moderation myself,
although only in moderation.
And that's where I find myself—
A bit overweight, I guess,
if you define my "ideal" weight
as fitting somebody else's ideals.
I kind of like where I am, though,
and isn't that the main point?

I will continue to enjoy food,
and I won't allow people to
make me feel guilty for enjoying it.

Bon appetit!

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